Author Archive

Yub Jub Means “Devour the Weak”

Bonnie Burton | June 12, 2009

For all of you fans who think Ewok are cuddly, cute teddy bears you might want to remember that when the Ewoks first met Han Solo on Endor he was considered more like dinner course than a dinner guest.

Thank goodness naturalists have decided to take a closer look at the habits and habitats of Ewoks so you don’t have to risk becoming part of their diet. The naturalists take notes on Ewok Celebratory Rituals and Honorific Terminology, Societal Structure and Dispute Arbitration, Adolescent Transition Rites, and Breeding Practices and Mate Selection.

Here’s an excerpt that best features their bloodlust:

Our first exposure to unvarnished Ewok behavior occurred at the victory celebration following the Battle of Endor. We were surprised to discover that the gathering was not just simply a boisterous feast-activity fostering communal bonds and egalitarian resource distribution, but also a ritualistic devouring of 34 captured Imperial stormtroopers, who were spit-roasted alive in their armor for seli beli (“to seal in the flavor”) and tanga tiru (“divine tang of mortal fear”) — a delicacy to the Ewok palate.

Read the full article here:
Yub Jub Means “Devour the Weak”: An Authoritative Study of Ewoks, From the Field Notes of Davi Atten-Boru and Pladdo Cardigan, Exo-naturalists (via McSweeney’s)


R2-D2 Easter Egg Revealed in Star Trek

Bonnie Burton | June 11, 2009

Now that the Paramount contest to spot R2-D2 in the new Star Trek film is over, here’s where our beloved astromech can be found:

From the Star Trek Easter Egg Sweepstakes Facebook Page:

During the Drill Machine sequence as the Enterprise comes out of its barrel role amidst destruction of the other Federation ships above Vulcan, we cut to an interior Enterprise bridge over the shoulder of Kirk that is looking out through the front viewscreen. In space, R2-D2 is floating in the debris from about the top middle of the screen to the bottom right.

He’s very tiny, but alas there he is floating in space — poor fella.

Read more about other Easter Eggs in this interview with one of the Star Trek screenwriters:
Trek Writer Roberto Orci Talks Writing, Reboots and Star Wars

Remodel Darth Vader’s Kitchen

Bonnie Burton | June 10, 2009

Constructing a Death Star is no easy feat, but imagine how hard it is to remodel a kitchen after the Rebel Alliance trashed it! Now imagine what that work order request would look like. Darth Vader isn’t the easiest client to please, so he’s posted some requirements on for contractors who dare to take on the task.

And to those contractors who want something a little extra for their work, you’re in luck. Destruction of the Rebel planet of your choice for the manager who comes in under budget and ahead of schedule. Plus Ewoks for your kids!

Here’s a few of the tasks we liked best:

Force-proof dishwasher and blender. Hardware must be solidly secured in case of use of Force. If the Boss gets mad, staff would prefer nothing can be ripped off the walls by his temper tantrum.

Non-droid self cleaning sinks. Since they’re getting sarcastic as the war against the Rebels progresses.

Refrigerators that double as hibernation units. Freezer combos to be installed on farthest wall from entry way. Bonuses to be granted to any contractor who can find units that double as hibernation units.

Read the full work order here:
Darth Vader Kitchen Remodel (via

Star Wars Guide to the Stanley Cup Finals

Bonnie Burton | June 9, 2009

Anyone who can draw a connection from Luke Skywalker to Pittsburgh Penguins Sidney Crosby is aces in our book.

Check out this fan’s guide to the Stanley Cup Finals where he compares the Galactic Empire to Detroit, the Rebel Alliance to Pittsburgh, Darth Vader to Detroit Red Wings Henrik Zetterberg, Han Solo to Pittsburgh Penguins Evgeni Malkin and C-3PO to sports commentator Pierre McGuire, among others.

Click to read the entire guide:
(some language not suitable for Jedi younglings)
Star Wars Guide to the Stanley Cup Finals


Mouse Droid Taxidermy?

Bonnie Burton | June 8, 2009

I’m a big fan of unusual Star Wars crafts, but there something not quite right about this R2-D2 taxidermy we spotted on eBay. The mouse with a droid body is kinda cute, but the other way around, not so much.

But for you ultimate collectors (we’re looking at you, Steve Sansweet), this may be too rare a find to pass up.

Here’s what the fan had to say about this unusual mouse droid:

I am selling my homemade R2-D2 mouse mash-up taxidermy set. You probably need one, if you don’t have one already. Good icebreaker conservation piece between Star Wars aficionados and taxidermy buffs.

Note — it is not a professional taxidermy job — they do show some sewing seams and glue seams. Though they have held together quite well over the past year. No mice were harmed, as this guy was already-dead snake food purchased from Petco.

Get more info here:
R2-D2 Taxidermy Set (via eBay)

SOURCE: The World’s Best Ever

Favreau and Lucas: Mutual Admiration Society

Bonnie Burton | June 8, 2009

(Director Jon Favreau proudly wears his Skywalker Sound shirt on location for Iron Man.)

Iron Man director Jon Favreau will be not only presenting filmmaker George Lucas with the Gene Siskel Film Center Visionary Award for Innovation in Filmmaking next weekend at a gala event, he’ll have the opportunity to interview him about his filmmaking process and influences. Even though Favreau is swamped working on the next Iron Man film, he couldn’t resist the rare request.

“It is hard to drop everything when you’re on a film this big,” he said when we spoke by phone the other day. “But the Art Institute asked me to fly to Chicago for George. Nothing short of the death of a close relative would stop me from boarding that plane.”

Favreau would never agree he is Lucas’ equal, but asked what he admires of the filmmaker, Favreau pointed to a parallel: “What I always loved is he lived through a period when films were nihilistic. The ’70s could be subversive, and I love those films, but he brought a sincere storytelling to what may seem like throwaway popcorn movies, and that hit the bull’s-eye for me.”

Lucas had equally nice things to say about Favreau:

“Industrial Light & Magic and Skywalker Sound have had the good fortune of working with Jon [on the 'Iron Man' films],” Lucas said. “I know firsthand that he is the type of filmmaker that crews here love to work with, because he always gives them the opportunity to break new ground.”

Read the full interview here:
Jon Favreau, just a regular guy (via Chicago Tribune)

Hang Ten with the Force

Bonnie Burton | June 8, 2009

Just in time for summer, here’s a nice selection of Star Wars and surfing connections. I have to admit the airbrushed Star Wars art on surfboards is all kinds of rad. I’m beginning to think that the teachings of the Force aid with finding the perfect wave.

Top 10 Star Wars Surfing Crossovers (via

Darth Maul to Join Heroes

Bonnie Burton | June 6, 2009

(Photo by Ron Riccio/Disney)

A Darth Maul vs. Peter Petrelli smackdown may no longer be a thing of fan fiction. Actor Ray Parks is in talks to appear in the hit NBC show Heroes.

The Ausiello Files reports:

British actor Ray Park, whose role as Darth Maul in Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace made him an icon to fanboys far and wide, is in talks to join the cast for a sizeable arc.

Little is known about Park’s role, except that he would be playing one of the colorful characters at the center of the show’s Carnivale-esque storyline. (My guess? He’s the character described in the breakdowns as “Knife Thrower.”)

Read the full article here:
Heroes recruits Sue Thomas, Darth Maul

Be sure to check out recent photos of Ray Park from his appearance at this year’s Disney Star Wars Weekends.

A Different George Lucas Becomes Archbishop

Bonnie Burton | June 4, 2009

Not all headlines about George Lucas are about the filmmaker George Lucas. When looking at the latest news today, we were very interested in a story about another George Lucas who was recently appointed the next Archbishop of Omaha, Nebraska.

At a news conference, the 59-year-old Archbishop George J. Lucas thanked Pope Benedict XVI for naming him to the position and called the new responsibilities “humbling” and a “privilege.” Archbishop Lucas, who shares his name with Star Wars director George Lucas, told a reporter that he had resisted the temptation to end Mass by saying, “May the Force be with you.”

Read more about him here:
Springfield Bishop Lucas named Archbishop of Omaha

Chad Vader vs. Keyboard Cat

Bonnie Burton | June 4, 2009

Our favorite grocery store Sith Lord Chad Vader and the awesome Internet sensation Play Him Off, Keyboard Cat finally have a duet!

WATCH VIDEO: Play Him Off, Keyboard Chad (via YouTube)

Read more about Keyboard Cat here.