May the 4th Be With You: A Star Wars Pun Primer

Eric Geller | April 29, 2013

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Star Wars Day is one of my favorite days of the year, but not just for the obvious reasons. Sure, it’s a day when the global fan community can come together and celebrate the greatest entertainment franchise in human history. And sure, many companies offer discounts and other special offers on their Star Wars products to reward the diehard fans who are scouring the Internet for them. But the Star Wars theme is only half of what makes May the 4th so great. The other half: puns, my favorite genre of comedic humor.

As a space fantasy franchise, Star Wars offers a wealth of proper nouns that can be exploited for fan punnery. In this post, I’m going to go beyond the obvious wordplay (“Luking for loving in Alderaan places”) and arm you with an array of more obscure puns. These are perfect for busting out at May the 4th Star Wars watch parties, during conventions like Celebration Europe II, or simply around the office in an attempt to suss out fellow geeks. (Hint: If they don’t laugh when you shout “It’s a nap!” then they’re not geeks.) Some of these jokes will make sense to casual fans and diehards alike, but others will be special treats for the Expanded Universe fans out there.

What follows is my best attempt at mining the Star Wars franchise for puntastic, punderful, punbelievably funny, and pundeniably clever…well, you get the idea.

  • Have you heard about the Starbucks they built underwater? I’d love to be an Ackbarista there.
  • Chalmun’s Cantina on Tatooine is a great place to take your girlfriend if you’re hoping to Wuher.
  • Knock knock? (Who’s there?) Duke! (Duke who?) Yeah, he’s the political leader of the Separatist movement. You’ve never heard of him?
  • When Yoda walked into the Jedi Temple’s summer prom, it was so congested with different aromas that he said, “Begun, the Cologne War has.”
  • The AT-AT crews on Hoth complained about their boss, “The General Veers off course!”
  • Han Solo’s famous ship is named after a bird expo that happens every 10 centuries called the Millennium Fowl Con.
  • The forest moon from Return of the Jedi was an energizing habitat for marine species. The locals said it was because of Endor fins.
  • Even if you’re not a fan of Jar Jar, you should consider yourself lucky. Would you have preferred Can Can in The Phantom Menace?
  • Yoda didn’t trust his fellow green-earned Jedi Council member because he’d heard that she was Yaddle-minded.
  • When Barriss Offee’s friends criticized her for obeying her Master’s every word, they said, “Luminara Unduli influences you!”
  • Luke thanked his trusty astromech droid for sticking by his side over the years by telling him, “You R2 good to me.”
  • Among his X-wing pilot friends, Mr. Antilles was known as “The Wedge-hammer.”
  • Emperor Palpatine’s right-hand man Sate sent letters using Pestage stamps.
  • Rebel commandos referred to their general’s daily routine as a Madine ritual.
  • Lando Calrissian tried to avoid Imperial attention, but it was all for Ugnaught.
  • After he was blasted to pieces in The Empire Strikes Back, Leia’s golden protocol droid was C-3-PO’d.
  • Darth Vader gave out bounty hunter awards at a ceremony dubbed “The Bosskars.”
  • Zuckuss’ favorite Chinese dish was 4-LOMEIN.
  • Admiral Ackbar’s mafia title was Don Calamari.
  • When Emperor Palpatine imprisoned rebellious senators but couldn’t find Alderaan’s representative, he offered his prisoners the chance to post Bail.
  • Leia didn’t invite her adopted father to her dance recital because she was afraid he would Bail on her.
  • Farmers on Alderaan mended fences with Bail-ing wire.

And finally, because the obscurer the better:

  • Cloud City evacuee Willrow Hood was originally supposed to say “I scream for ice cream!” in The Empire Strikes Back.

Happy Star Wars Day and May the Force of Wordplay Be With You!

Eric Geller is a college student with a political science major who co-hosts The ForceCast podcast, manages social media for TheForce.Net, and writes The Clone Wars reviews for TFN. You can follow him on Twitter and read his TCW reviews here.

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